A Problematic Chapter from Song of Songs

seed1
He says:

5:1 I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved.

She says:

5:2 I sleep, but my heart waketh: it is the voice of my beloved that knocketh, saying,

He says:

Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled: for my head is filled with dew, and my locks with the drops of the night.

She Says:

5:3-8 I have put off my coat; how shall I put it on? I have washed my feet; how shall I defile them? My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him. I rose up to open to my beloved; and my hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of the lock. I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone: my soul failed when he spake: I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer. The watchmen that went about the city found me, they smote me, they wounded me; the keepers of the walls took away my veil from me. I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if ye find my beloved, that ye tell him, that I am sick of love.

They said:

5:9 What is thy beloved more than another beloved, O thou fairest among women? What is thy beloved more than another beloved, that thou dost so charge us?

She Says:

5:10-16 My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand.

His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven. His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set. His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh. His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl: his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires. His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars. His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.

What makes this chapter such a problem is the lack of patience in the lover at the door. There are certainly a number of problems to be found here, but His very quick abandonment when she does not open to Him in a more timely manner seems to most of us to be the most problematic of them all.

Looking at this chapter of the Song, from the vantage point of seeing in it a type of Christ as the lover of our souls, it seems to make of Him a most impatient lover or perhaps even a lover with ego problems when she doesn’t respond to His expressed desire to enter her chambers as quickly as He would like.

Several years ago now as I was looking to better understand male and female as the image of God, I tried to reduce and simplify the terms of the equation, and this brought me to see the difference between what each of them represents as the female being an “egg layer,” and the male being a “fertilizer.”  I began to explore the difference between the two from that vantage point.

The other night as I found myself putting this chapter of Song of Songs together from that perspective I could see in a moment a normal contrast in urgency between an egg layer, and a fertilizer.

Fasten you seat belt.

Suddenly I was forced to explore the difference between a human male or “fertilizer,” and God the Father as a “fertilizer.”

Not long after studying the Scriptures we find that the Eternal Father has only one begotten Son – Jesus. We don’t have to go too much beyond that discovery when we come to appreciate that this only begotten Eternal Son is also presented to us as a single SEED. (Galatians is particularly clear about this, “Brothers and sisters, let me take an example from everyday life. Just as no one can set aside or add to a human covenant that has been duly established, so it is in this case. The promises were spoken to Abraham and to his seed. Scripture does not say “and to seeds,” meaning many people, but “and to your seed,” meaning one person, who is Christ. What I mean is this: The law, introduced 430 years later, does not set aside the covenant previously established by God and thus do away with the promise.” Galatians 3:15-17 NIV

“A seed shall serve him; it shall be accounted to the Lord for a generation.” Psalm 22:30 KJV

“Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the festival.  They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, with a request. ‘Sir,’ they said, ‘we would like to see Jesus.’  Philip went to tell Andrew; Andrew and Philip in turn told Jesus.  Jesus replied, ‘The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.  Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.’”  John 12:20-24  NIV

By citing the above passages I am hoping to show that before there could be an “only begotten Son of God”, there had to first be an only Seed of God. “not seed as meaning many seeds, but Seed as being one, even Christ.

A Father who had been waiting since eternity past to enter into an act of love with a woman he had been looking for since the foundation of the world, showed up at her bedchamber. This was not going to be any ordinary act of love, not even a repeatable act of love. You see, this happened in the fullness of time, and by the passion of a Father who had only One Seed to sow. This was going to be an all or nothing act of love. It was going to give her everything He ever had, and it was going to take much more than a moment in time.

There was no time here for hesitation or worthless agendas. It happened when the bedchamber was still full of the law, and not yet the Love of God.  When she hesitated she was beat up in the streets by the lawyers, the “watchmen” of her day.

It was neither a time to hesitate where her part in the act of intimacy was concerned, nor was it a time for her to get up and run from the scene of love, because He was going to impregnate her with so much more than she had ever heard about, dreamed or imagined. It would be millennia before all the DNA of His Love for her would finally be where he intended, and she would have to learn how to rest in the impartation of it all. It wasn’t enough for Him to rest in this transaction of love. She would have to learn to rest in its impartation too.

This was not to be a fleeting flirtation, this was to be a forever fixation.

I’m sure there’s a lot more to say about this, but I think this says at least part of what came to mind in thinking about how touchy he seemed to be when she hesitated. Of all the times throughout history when an overture to love was tuning up this was not the time to hesitate. Today is the day to enter His rest!

“Wherefore (as the Holy Ghost saith, To day if ye will hear his voice, Harden not your hearts, as in the provocation, in the day of temptation in the wilderness: When your fathers tempted me, proved me, and saw my works forty years. Wherefore I was grieved with that generation, and said, They do alway err in their heart; and they have not known my ways. So I sware in my wrath, They shall not enter into my rest.) Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God. But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. For we are made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning of our confidence stedfast unto the end; While it is said, To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts, as in the provocation. For some, when they had heard, did provoke: howbeit not all that came out of Egypt by Moses. But with whom was he grieved forty years? was it not with them that had sinned, whose carcases fell in the wilderness? And to whom sware he that they should not enter into his rest, but to them that believed not? So we see that they could not enter in because of unbelief.” Hebrews 3:7-19 KJV

Love!

Posted in J.Ferris: Top Posts | 8 Comments

Cancer Interlude

pouredforth
As promised to my cancer up-date list, here is the “2/4/13 up-date” together with the content of yesterday’s consultation with a couple of my oncologists:

“After having a rather sobering family conversation about the present condition of our war with cancer for the past year or two, we thought to send a very straight forward enquiry to out oncologists for who we have the greatest respect, and who have been very cooperative with us to date. Our daughter, Melissa took the lead in writing the letter for us:

 

Dear Dr. Reese,
Several of us had a long conversation last night on how to best proceed, but without an expert opinion it has become very difficult to navigate. In very simple terms, we need your best guess on where we stand in two areas: 1. Chances of winning or gaining against this cancer – 2. How much time do you think we have left? Our concern is that Dad’s energy level has hit an all time low and his pain level an all time high. If his time with us is short and our chances of doing anything against this cancer are slim at this point, we really need to know that. It would be hugely detrimental to our family to have him be referred either to a Maryland Clinical Trial or put back on some kind of chemo regimen designed to reduce tumor size to something more operable, only to further drain his strength and energy, to a place where he misses the moments left for good communication only to be referred to Hospice. On the other hand, if this is just a low point on the journey and we have a real chance at doing something against this cancer, AND we still have some time left, then we want to FIGHT!
When my cousin died in Sept 2011, she was given lots of false hope right up until the end. Several of us had urged her to have specific conversations with family members and to leave some video messages for her 11 year old son. But she didn’t do those things because she was fighting the cancer and when the end came it came so fast and she was in such bad shape that none of those things got to happen. If Dad only has a few months left with us, there are conversations, including family conversation that he would like to have, things he needs to write, and things that he wants to do, and it is really important to all of us that we give him the time to make those things happen and not use all his energy and emotion on chasing down treatments that may have little or no chance of success.
So that’s where we are. We’re still hoping that in a few years, Dad will be with us and we will look back on this time as his “rock bottom.” But we don’t want our desire to continue the fight to prevent him from completing his very real bucket list. Where do YOU think we’re at? We wouldn’t bother you with this when we already have an appointment at Rutherford Internal for Tuesday, (yesterday) but we need to try to make the out come of that appointment as practicable as possible.
Thanks as always for your knowledge, help and your willingness to advise from afar,
-Melissa Stolasz, Tim, William, Jay, Carleen, and Heather Ferris”

Night before last we received the following response from Dr. Rees:

“Dear Ferris family,
Your questions are very good, and they demonstrate your family’s commitment to face this disease with eyes wide open. Jay made it clear to me that he is interested in helping advance the field through invention, investigation and research, and he has done this consistently. Jay has also been helpful to point out from the patient perspective some of the frustrations faced with the medical system in this whole process. Part of the limitations in knowledge we have is in knowing the prognosis.

First to review: As you know metastatic colon cancer is not felt to be curable, except in the circumstance where there is limited, resectable disease — such as in isolated liver metastsis. We do not have data on curability for isolated abominal wall metastasis, but if a patient had limited disease AND was responding to treatment AND had a very good level of performance (active and caring for themselves) AND was otherwise in good shape I would personally consider the option.

If surgery is not an option then standard treatments are palliative, to try and prolong life and hopefully improve the quality of life. The tradeoff is the side effects, and the question for the patient becomes one of how much side effects are they willing to tolerate for the potential benefit offered.

Clinical trials offer the potential of better results, but of course being trials we do not know the data regarding risks or benefits.

The prognosis for patients who have been through standard chemotherapy with this type of cancer and who are not surgical candidates is usually a few months. We do have something called a Palliative Care Prognostic model which is not specific for colon cancer but which uses symptoms, wt. loss, etc. to try and estimate more precisely, but of course some things are not knowable.

I am sorry to hear about your cousin. Regardless of what we decide on future care options, I urge you not to wait on the important things. In the book “Four Questions,” written for patients in this situation, Ira Byock discusses the issues to make sure and address. I suspect that in your case this is preaching to the choir but it may be useful to review.

So in summary, from what you are describing from the energy standpoint, I suspect a limited life expectancy. I do agree that it may be too difficult to consider the treatments at the NCI if you are feeling low, as these trips back and forth and the treatments can take a lot out of you. We need to review all the options we have, including hospice, and discuss the pros and cons of each approach.

I know these are tough issues, and I appreciate your willingness to openly discuss.

Sincerely,
Matt Rees”

As of this morning this appears to be where we are. We are very grateful for all your prayers and time they have been able to buy for us, allowing us to get some things done that have been very important for us as a family and for me personally to share things, which have and remain very important to me as a serious student of the Scriptures. We are also so very grateful for all your love and prayers, but are now winding down to the end of the battle. The Lord has been very gracious to us, and we are now having to focus on things of highest possible priority for us as a family and in a limited sharing with the time left for those things that The Lord has built into my life for the past 40 or so years. That is where we hope to be concentrating what time we have left.

We Love You and are so grateful for all your prayers, good wishes, and support over these precious years He has given us together.

As there is opportunity we will try to keep you in touch with how things are proceeding.

Love,

Jay, Carleen and Family

P.S. You can also keep track of me on my blog lovinglikegod.com as I have time opportunity, energy, and inspiration to post from time to time. I hope to focus whatever time I have left there.”

————————————–

That brings things up to date as of yesterday morning. In the afternoon we had our oncologist appointment, and heard by phone of two more consultations to come, one with the Clinical Trial center in Bethesda MD, and the other with a possible surgical possibility locally.

These promised consultations by phone or email often don’t happen as fast as one would like, so I will give you another mini-up-date from the vantage point of this morning.

All things considered at this point it is looking like two weeks at the outside.

While many of my friends already know me well enough to question my sanity where my exploration of the truth of God’s love and relationships gender neutral are concerned, I should say for the benefit of all that it is not so clear how much longer I will be clear even for those who are spiritually discerning. I will be doing my best with what ever I have left however, so don’t unfasten your seat belts quite yet. I’m still armed, considered dangerous in most religious quarters, and likely to remain so as I have less and less to lose by being as honest as a cup already being poured out can be. I will try to be careful of the reputations and feelings of those I have come to love so dearly over the years, but, for all of that expect to continue to be merciless where the flesh is concerned, especially religious flesh, even my own.

Perhaps that’s enough for now to catch you up on where things are. I’m already trying to adapt to the best painkillers they make for this fleshly kind of warfare. They tell me it can take a while to get used to it so that occasional rationality is still a hope.

I really can’t speculate as yet as to how I might be able to do where the spiritual pain killers are concerned, but I’ll be doing my best to stick close to my Doctor of Doctors in that department. :-)

Love!

Posted in J.Ferris: Cancer & Medicine | 10 Comments

Another Look at “First Love”

Another Look at "First Love"

Revelation 2:4

“Love” is such an easy word to throw around. It’s easier at some times more than others, and also easier in some seasons or conditions than it is in others. This is true whether we are speaking of the Love of Christ, our experience of “first Love” with and in Him or whether we are speaking of love in and of the flesh, new, tried, true or old.

Clearly time has a way of changing the power, intensity and passion of love, even in our relationship with Christ and with those whom He has made ours in Him.

But after due consideration I must say that there is a difference in the staying power of new love in Christ, that is as real and palpable as the difference between the redefined love that was first introduced at and by the cross of Christ, and the pre-cross kind of love that seems to be the best that most of us are able to do.

This to say that in either case, we have our part to play in the maintenance of Love no matter what its source, the passion of The Christ or the lust of the flesh. Blowing one another off is not an option, no matter who we are talking about or struggling with.

The most familiar, and most practiced kind of love between humans of opposite genders is an image of something wholly other. It was an image of another love, albeit a weakened and more problematic one, even after she was removed from bodily inclusion in the man.

Please note that we haven’t yet complicated anything here by the inclusion of a time element – “first love” – later love – lost love, etc. There are plenty of places we can go in the Scripture to look for things that make love more problematic with time:

”Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?” Proverbs 5:18-20 KJV

The Bible does not mince words, and there is hardly need for a relational ombudsman to mince them either.

To this point all I have tried to do is make the point that there is a difference between the Love of Christ, and the Love between a man and a woman, and that time takes its toll on both. There is reason however, for greater vitality in the Love of Christ than there is in the best of love that was known before the Cross of Christ.

My hope is that it is not yet too late to have a redeeming conversation about the difference that the cross makes as well as the difference in the passion that the Cross of Christ is able to maintain no matter the relationship when its origin is sourced and rooted in Him.

For the next little while I would like to risk encouraging such a conversation to the end that the passion of the saints for one another might have a great redemptive impact on the world around us rather than just being an expansion of the relational scrap heap with which we are already surrounded in religion as well as other failures of the flesh.

Love!

Posted in J.Ferris: The Passion of the Cross | Leave a comment