P.S. Carleen Ferris sent in the following memorial
(in the comments section) to open things up today!
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Loving Like God 
I loved Jay’s wonderful and easy sense of humor. I also loved and admired the way he loved people, all kinds of people. Jay was always 20 years ahead of “the times” as far as seeing what The Lord was doing and saying, and that fact often got him into trouble with the Church people. (What it taught me was not to be a “people pleaser,” and to desire only to please Our Lord.). They say that who you really are is who you are at home, and Jay was tender and fun.
He loved his family, both flesh and spiritual children, and loved a great conversation above all else.
Jay was a deep thinker, and would “chew” on a new idea for awhile before speaking about it to anyone.
We laughed a lot in our family, and people often had to “catch-on” to our joking around with ideas and topics, before they “got us.”.
I loved and deeply miss my best friend, who gave me the great privilege of always being able to share my heart, both the good and not so good. He never judged me for the not so good, but would instead help me to sort out my feelings, and get them more in line with God’s word.
Rest well, my sweet man; pain free and dancing the street of gold. I can only imagine the wonders you are beholding. I look forward to my private tour when my journey here is done. Meanwhile, know that your life counted for something, and that your story goes on, and lives are being changed because of you.
Love you greatly, Carleen
Well said and expressed beautifully sister Carleen
Pingback: Birthday Tribute to Jay Ferris | Loving Like God
Thank you Carleen for starting off with this beautiful memorial on Jay. I have a short story, and while it doesn’t include a famous quote of Jay’s, it does illustrate his sense of humor. There was that time that you and Jay prayed for me one evening. I think you may have first felt the bump on my head. The one that I’ve had since I was born. When you had Jay feel it, he said, “Is that your On-Off button?”. :-)
I was thinking of having it removed before then, but now I don’t mind it! :)
Yes, it’s amazing how simple words in love can make a seeming problem just go away.
I met Jay once, and he impacted my life deeply, a year later The Lord revealed to me that Jay was the dad I had always longed for. I have only grieved for three man at their passing, my Grandpa Jim, my Uncle Warren…and Jay.
“the Kingdom of God is like a drop dead beautiful woman” ~ Jay Ferris
I also look forward to catching up with Jay…
“When a prostituted woman falls in love, then she’s out of business.”
“Jesus is Lord of relationships” and “What’s calling itself church….” and his and Carleen’s welcoming warmth at their home, making you feel like you belonged…. it always feels like I’m coming home when I’m there….Oh and those kicking July 4th celebrations! (Thanks to Tim for those!)
Dad LOVED family and food. When we were together for the holidays and pulled up around the table he’d go “Yay, yay, we get to eat again!!!”
Another Dad-ism: “I felt like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!” Usually this was in reference to some kind of Pastor or church leadership conference!
I am Jays sister. When we were young Jay use to love to terrorize the nuns who lived behind us by pelting their house with peas that he would shoot from my mothers vacuum cleaner that he had masterfully rigged up. He was on the third floor with a birds eye view. They would come flying out the back door to see what was falling from the skies. Now he is facing those nuns. I love it, and I love and miss him with all my heart. Happy Birthday big brother!
Love all of these! This is so wonderful…such a tribute to Jay! Here are some things that have impacted me to the point that they are a part of me… I “hear” Jay saying them when I need to be reminded. Thank you, Jay, so much, for giving these life giving one liners, and for living them in relationship with Us.:
People are someone to Love, not “do”
“Lovers in Training” – our job description
Keep your eyes on Jesus
Worship is agreeing with God
Be quick to listen and slow to speak
The only correct interpretation of Scripture is the one the Lord writes on your heart
expectations are killers
wearing anything but Love (the only “right clothing”) will get you kicked out of the Wedding
Feast (the Kingdom – the Holy Spirit kicks you out)
Examine yourself to see what Spirit you’re in
Sit at the foot of the Cross
The Kingdom of God is in the DNA of Christ
Our identity is Christ – the only identity that doesn’t shake
Relationships from God are like Christmas presents – we get to spend time unwrapping the present to see what we got
Take it nice and easy
Jesus ate religious leaders for breakfast – “Breakfast of Champions”
Don’t leave home without it (the Cross)
Not soup yet
Don’t join the circus (what’s calling itself church”)
The greatest desire of all is to be Loved, the greatest fear is rejection
Unoffendable Love
What is God hoping for?
God knows where to find us
Rest in His Love
Beware of the work of man’s hands
What page is that on?
Read the Bible with both eyes open
Continually fill with the Spirit (at the Cross) – we leak
God’s Love is not like our love
Remember your table manners
And one that gives me hope and continuously affirms he’s here with me: “I’ll leave the light on for you”
Lisa, How did you meet Jay? What is the story? Please tell us!
Hi – is this Richard? The same Richard who used to live near Jay in NC and moved out west somewhere? If so, I met you on my first visit to meet Jay, about 9 years ago. Such a precious time! How are you??
I met Jay online almost 10 years ago. The story is word for word in our book, Not Left Behind: Going Back for the Offended (available for download for free on this website). The book is entirely composed of our emails back and forth for a few weeks, when he led me to Christ in a very real way (we only interacted by email for almost a year). The Lord made him a spiritual Father to me, and we had a very rich spiritual life together throughout his remaining years. I am forever changed from having known Jay, as I hear so many people here testifying.
Ah yes… one more:
chew your food and digest it… don’t spew out undigested truth
Where to begin?…there is just so much in my heart when I think of Jay and the many years we enjoyed his “Jayisms.” In our circle he was without question “the king of one liners”, and not to forget the “one worders.” My favorite line that he used at nearly 100% of our many visits over the years – “What can I get you to sip on?” I am certainly missing that line as I look back and interpret what that line meant to me. I am most certainly convinced that Jay was saying to me and all the many others who benefited from that line – “please come and sit a while, relax, linger, let’s spend some quality time together unpacking the Great Mysteries of the Lord and His Kingdom, as we enjoy each others company.” I am without question a lonelier man without Jay’s company, but I am also a better man as I think of all the hours he poured into me about the Kingdom of God.
The most memorable one worder…”manhandlers!” How I have seen this word play itself out over and over again as the Kingdom breaks loose from the controlling grip of an old guard mentality that values religion over love.
Lastly, I wish I could drive over to the cabin right now and get “a bone crushing hug!” – yes, another line that I not only enjoyed hearing – but even more loved to receive.
I am Carleen’s sister. Once in a while when I called her, Jay would answer and we would chat briefly until Carleen got on the phone. After a few more minutes of listening to us, Jay would normally then sign off, knowing that sometimes sisters just have to talk about earthly stuff!! It was the way he said “Love you!” at that moment that I hear in my mind now…totally affirming and accepting as he left for his computer. Deeper conversations would happen again in person!
The other one liner I treasure as I go forward in life is that God’s love is a love that is good enough for enemies. Finally, I have been an elder brother way too often in relationships, and Jay greatly helped me come into the feast, accept my place at the table, and treasure relationship with my Father above all else.
We’re only called to love people, not trust them. Only trust God.
I didn’t get nearly enough time with you on this side and although I understand you more now than I ever did we will get plenty of time when I join you. Till then …. Much love ! :-D
It is difficult to narrow these words down to a favorite, but this is what has stayed with me.
“A love that is good enough for friends is a love that is a response to the value of its object. A love that is good enough for enemies is a love that is a response to the value of God. It can only be found in God.”
“It’s not about fixing others, it’s about becoming His kind of lovers. The problem is that the love of God can and will get you killed.”
“Being past dead in the flesh is a pre-requisite for receiving relationships that come from God.”
I never met him but, from reading here he must have been a wonderful man! From reading his sayings I love “read the bible with both eyes open”
Jay had so many good one liners and so many have already been posted…and I thought I was the only one that got to hear them!! That’s how Jay made me feel when I was over…very special! ” A Lover in training” is so true about who I am. To love more like Jesus… is what Jay challenged all of us to do. “God’s love is not like our love.” “God’s love is a love that’s good enough for enemies.” “In God’s economy the medium of exchange is LOVE.”Jay loved Jesus and people more than life itself. Always ready and willing to listen…without judging.
What I missed the most is that wonderful big hug followed by “What can I get you to sip on?” That meant so much to me because it meant stay awhile…I enjoy your company…you are important to me…I value you. I am imagining that is what we all should do more of…lingering with one another. That’s what Jesus did at the last supper…lingered with his disciples. Live and Love (a line borrowed from another good friend Andrea. I know Jay would have loved that line too), I miss you so much and grateful “to be in life together.”
My Dear friend Jay was a prince of a man! He not only “talked the talk, but he could walk the walk”. That fact alone separated him from the multitudes of professed believers in Jesus. His devotion to Truth was straight! Because of his life commitment and surrender to Jesus, Jay established a nobility of character and The Lord honored His servant that honored and respected others.
This page is so beautiful!! Each of your comments have brought me so much joy. Thank you Pam! A few things that I cherish about Dad. His saying that we are all “Lovers in training” is my favorite. I love how he championed and stood up and fought for respect for women in the church. This meant so much to me. I love beyond measure that Mom and Dad read so many books on and were so dedicated to raising children and disciplining children well, and they did the same for every family issue that would come up, and would then decide how to proceed together. They were the ultimate loving team captains. As it should be!! And I love how Dad loved playing with and holding babies and they loved him. Dad had/has a very sweet heart. Hugs to all. Kisses sent to heaven.
Your father Jay has shared with me many times Heather how he adored and deeply loved you. His depth of love for you profoundly impressed me since I did not have the honor and great privilledge to be raised by a father. Your father was and still is iconic for what is truly missing in this world today. Jay would freely admit that the unconditional Love that he gave came to him as one of the many gifts that Our Sweet Saviour gives when his children accept Him as their Spiritual Father and personal Saviour. This Love Heather, was my connection with your father Jay, is that we both had the SAME SPIRITUAL FATHER …and knew it. For over 15 years, your father and I rejoiced in Gods Glorious Love. (Carleen can verify this fact… and others.) Only His Magnificant Love can heal us and fill in the cracks. I, too, Heather, if you will, love you as a daughter. (for Jay has spoken so much love and good in my presence that I deeply feel that I know.) Respectfully, Richard (aka twotrees928)
In reference to what needs to replace the Lord of the American Church MONEY!
IN EVERY ECONOMY THERE MUST BE A MEDIUM OF EXCHANGE. IN THE KINGDOM THAT MEDIUM IS LOVE.
In asking Jay how do you remember all you read and hear. – he said its like throwing noodles against the wall. – what sticks – sticks
Hi Don,
Don’t you know that.
We all know when we think live and learn.
Jay learned much did much and loved much….
I met Jay 3 years running in Charlotte, firstly at the Apostolic Roundtable and then at subsequent annual events. Meeting Jay was a highlight and I looked forward to spending time with him each year. I will never forget the first thing I heard him say (after a couple of guys had been blowing their trumpets): “we need to be aware how much we do is for the purpose of male ego gratification”. I turned to the brother next to me and said “I love that man!” even though we had never met. But that’s how it was- lovers of truth were always attracted to him. I’m from Australia and thought of him often this year… very grieved at the battle lost but all the richer for having known Jay.