Matthew 22: 8-14: “Then saith he to his servants, The wedding is ready, but they which were bidden were not worthy. Go ye therefore into the highways, and as many as ye shall find, bid to the marriage. So those servants went out into the highways, and gathered together all as many as they found, both bad and good: and the wedding was furnished with guests. And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment: And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless. Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. For many are called, but few are chosen.”
Pretty rough treatment for not being properly attired. You and I have been to the wedding feast, and we were properly attired. Then something went wrong and our garments got defiled. All of a sudden both of us were on the outside looking in, and I, at least, was left to wonder what happened. As I have continued to think about this, taking into consideration things shared over the past year or so, it has come down to the eyes. I think what we are wearing is seen in our eyes.
“So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.” Colossians 3:12-14
I believe that the appropriate garment for a wedding feast is “the look of love.” You talked about it being gone from the eyes of your boy friend, and you couldn’t get it back. The look of love invites you in. when it is gone you are locked out. The other look, the look when love is gone or injured, has many facets to it, but they all are woven together to make a barrier or curtain, precluding the possibility of intimacy.
The look of expectations, or theology or doctrine or lust or agenda or injury or disappointment or defensiveness or hostility or devastation or rejection or insecurity or fear or revulsion or judgment or offendedness or doubt or suspicion or accusation or evasiveness or self-righteousness or haughtiness or despair or sadness or woundedness, and on and on and on the list could go:
Matthew 6:22, 23: “The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!”
I John 1:5-7: “This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.”
I saw right away that the look had gone from your eye, and that was very painful. But of equal concern was that, in reaction, the look was gone from my eye as well, and that had to be my first concern. I never want to look at you except with the look of love, otherwise, I drive you or me or both of us into outer darkness. I don’t want you in outer darkness. I want you in the light. From the first negative phone conversation two weeks ago last Friday until the last email I sent, I had been struggling to get the look back. The look can’t be faked, because the “The light of the body is the eye…” The eye is the window into what is really going on inside the body – what we are wearing in the most important sense. I have the look back!”
The best advice I can give you in response to a number of the questions you asked tonight, is to “… walk in the light…” As for my part, I ever remain available to help you do that. I think your present situation is evidence enough that I am able to do that without betrayal.
I love you with a love which could only have come from above, and what a joy it is to find it in my heart, and know that you are its object.
Grace, that resonates in your own heart, all I can say is to keep on keeping on. Do what ever you can to get the look back in your eye. For me the only way was to “fix my eye on Jesus.” I saw that even while the nails were still in his hands, the look of love was in His eye for me. If He could do that for me who nailed Him there, how can I not do as much for others, even as they pass by thinking nothing of my pain, Lamentations 1:12.
Jay Ferris – letter to a spiritual daughter
James Jay Ferris, Author
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